The Pioneers of Rosemont

-Anonymous

Rosemont is in shambles.  Well, not so much anymore since our co-ed transition.  This extra injection of testosterone is just what this campus has been yearning for all along because apparently, our school was not good enough before.  Shame on you women, who, despite your best efforts, did nothing to help this school.  Obviously, Rosemont women never worked hard, excelled in academics, organized clubs and events, completed volunteer work, or instilled an inspiring sense of morality on campus. 

For shame.  Now it is evident why women were once denied entry into the institution of higher education. Thankfully, men have finally arrived to turn this girlie school into yet another generic, run-of-the-mill COLLEGE.  Co-education solves all of our problems.  Honestly, “all-girls colleges are kind of weird,” explained a female student who was quoted in a Philadelphia Inquirer article by Susan Snyder. 

Us Rosemont students can finally say we are just like everyone else!  Well, that is what we have been wanting, right?  The girls can just sit back and let the men take charge.  Men can be so good at invading a decades old culture, taking control, and then accepting the credit for its new and improved changes.  They are the “pioneers,” after all.

Just observe the gallantry, the remarkable changes they have already brought to our humble abode: A broken glass panel in the stairway in Heffernan and an introductory course on disrespect and profanity for our dedicated professors.

Also, some students at Rosemont (am I allowed to use the word “Rose” or is that too feminine?) have decided to spend time here because it will be easy to transfer.  These men are wise; they plainly see that our school is evidently still not up to par.  The smartest choice is to just take advantage and then quickly leave while the going is good.  Women here can look to some of these new students as a source of inspiration.

Unfortunately, not all male students here are making these aforementioned “improvements”, for many are hardworking, studious, and courteous; some men are even dedicated to the forgotten values established by our founding Rosemont sisters.  However, as Snyder so cleverly states within her article, “the rose just doesn’t cut it any more.”  Thankfully, all that feminism bullshit of women needing their own empowering space within higher education is all in the past.  So, let us welcome the men with open arms and open legs, ladies.